


Aftermath

by Ree_Dragon



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crude Humor, You've been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 07:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17463191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ree_Dragon/pseuds/Ree_Dragon
Summary: Amethyst and Lapis walk home after attending a certain event together.This was written for Zab as part of the Hidden Gems Secret Santa event.





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zabjade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zabjade/gifts).



Tonight had been…nice.  Nicer than it might have been otherwise, Lapis supposed.  She’d had no plans, so she may have spent her time on the beach, or maybe in one of her hiding places.  She didn’t feel like being around a whole crowd of gems, even if one of them was Steven.  As much as she loved him, and as grateful as she was for him saving her, there were times when a whole team of gems talking and moving so close to her made her insides twist unpleasantly and her mind return to the time she’d been trapped in the mirror and interrogated.  It didn’t matter that she trusted him, or that she was coming to trust most of his friends - the memories were still present and sharp, even after thousands of years.

She was never going to recover.

At least tonight she’d been granted a few hours’ reprieve from thinking of everything she had suffered through during and after the war.  There had been an event in town that Amethyst wanted to take her to.  They’d spent the past few hours surrounded by humans rather than gems, but somehow that wasn’t as scary…possibly because they didn’t have the power to trap her like gems did.  And even if there were more humans than gems in this settlement, it was still quite small.  Much smaller than anything she’d find on Homeworld, or in a completed gem colony.  She could handle a couple dozen humans, even if those humans gave her strange or fearful looks every now and again.  She’d been able to ignore them, and even enjoy herself.

Of course, now her insides were bothering her for a different reason…she wasn’t sure why Amethyst wanted to take her to the Chili Cookout Festival.  Food was Steven’s thing.  But she’d needed a break, and it was nice to have company without feeling crowded and trapped.

“Bob?”

Amethyst’s voice startled her, and she turned to her companion.  The purple gem was staring at her, a slight frown marring her features.  Had she missed something?

“I’m sorry.  What?”

Amethyst snorted and rolled her eyes.  “Figured.  You all right?”

“Fine.”  She tried to look and sound casual, but one look at Amethyst’s narrowed eyes told her the purple gem didn’t buy it.  Lapis sighed.  “I’m fine.  I was just thinking.”

“I could tell.”  Amethyst stopped walking, and Lapis had to backtrack a few spaces to rejoin her.  They were halfway down the beach at this point - a few more steps and Steven’s home would be in view.  “Come on, Lap Dawg, ya gotta relax!”

“I’m trying.”  Lapis turned away from the purple gem, her gaze drifting over the ocean instead.  “I’m trying to focus on today, but I can’t stop thinking about…”  She winced and trailed off.  It was hard enough thinking about the events of the past without naming them.

Amethyst sighed and continued forward, prompting Lapis to match her pace.  “Yeah, I get it.  Did you at least have a little fun today?”

Lapis nodded.  “It was nice to get away from everything for a while.”  She hesitated a moment, wondering if she should voice what was on her mind.  “But…why me?  Wouldn’t Steven have enjoyed a soup festival more than any of us?”

Amethyst cackled.  “I wanted you along because I like ya, even if you are a nerd.  And chili isn’t soup, Lapis.  It’s more like…”  She frowned and shook her head.  “Nah, I’ll let Pearl explain it to ya.  That’s her thing.  I wish we could have gotten Greg to come with us, though.  He makes it even more hilarious.”  She took a deep breath and blue into her hands.

Lapis laughed, snorting despite herself.  She didn’t know why that sound was funny to her - it always had been.  Meeting Steven and learning he also thought it was funny only increased the amusement.

Amethyst grinned at her laughter and blew into her hands again, creating a longer, deeper sound.  She blew in different places along her arms after, differing the loudness and longness of each attempt.

Lapis’ laughter turned to cackling and Amethyst continued the sounds.  When Amethyst lapsed, Lapis brought her palms to her face to reciprocate, causing Amethyst to laugh in turn.

Then, it seemed like Amethyst strained too hard while blowing into her arm.  What started as a hilarious mouth noise ended as a hilarious noise from…somewhere else.

Did she just…?  Oh stars, she did!  Lapis cackled harder, her laughter ending in gagging that wasn’t entirely caused by the smell that accompanied that particular noise.

When Lapis recovered, she noticed Amethyst grinning at her.  The purple gem lifted a leg and farted as second time, this one much louder than the last.  Lapis backed off several paces and retaliated by blowing into her palms again.

But her body wouldn’t let her keep it polite.  The aches and discomfort she’d been feeling since the chili came to a head, and the next fart sound from her was far from fake.  That got Amethyst laughing, her body spasming in time to a series of brief but loud poots.

The two gems continued setting each other off - from both ends.  Lapis wasn’t sure how long the impromptu fart party had gone on.  At one point she found herself laying on her side in the sand, her body heaving too much to let her even try to stand.

Ah well, she didn’t want to go home yet, anyway.

Then Amethyst let out a particularly…squishy sounding noise, this time accompanied by an intense stench that lingered after the sound faded.  The purple gem’s eyes widened and she stopped laughing.

Then Amethyst laughed.  “I could just leave this, but…I think I’d better go wash up.  Don’t want Pearl yelling at me for this for the sixty-eighth time.”  She sprinted toward the water.

Lapis laughed beyond the point of hurting, her body convulsing with the laughter and the attempts to get herself back under control.  Amethyst would not be living this one down!

Then it hit her why Amethyst was going to the ocean and not Steven’s bathroom.  She sobered instantly and rushed after the purple gem.  “Not in my ocean, you don’t!”

Amethyst lifted a hand and gestured with a single finger in response, laughing the whole way.  Lapis continued to give chase, determined to catch her companion before the beach was permanently fouled.

It was barely dusk now, but it would be nearly dawn before they returned to the house, both having forgotten everything but each other in the span of one night.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was a thing. XD This is NOT part of my series (though I am working on the next installment for that and hope to have it out before the end of the month).
> 
> This story was written for the Secret Santa event in a group I help run called Hidden Gems. Hidden Gems is a fandom-based group that focuses mainly on Steven Universe and Buffy (specifically, the Spuffy pairing), though pretty much all fandoms are welcome. There's also a heavy focus on fanfic in general, but you don't have to be a writer to take part. We've just started weekly writing prompts and a "Book Club" where we vote on a couple fics for everyone in the fandom to read and discuss in the month. The Steven Universe side of the side is really lacking at the moment, so I'd love for y'all to come join us!
> 
> Proboards: http://spuffygems.boards.net/  
> Discord: https://discord.gg/ppd4jMQ


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